i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there was a trapeze. enough said
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
