Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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