I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
