They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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