I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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