YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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