Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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