Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
