no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Randomize
