There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
