just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
