All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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