Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
