thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
