sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
