There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
