Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
