oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She's the barista slut.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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