dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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