Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
