Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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