and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
