I got chris browned last night
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
