she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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