At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
