Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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