She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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