She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
