So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
