Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
