I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
