Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
