I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
