well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
