Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
