Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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