just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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