**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
