Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
