Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
