i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
