Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
