nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
