found the other keg... it's in the tree
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
