My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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