Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
