we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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