You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
