My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Randomize
