maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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