I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
