I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
