Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
